[jiuqing enters the tunnel of love alone - so she's really not expecting to be accosted by the ship-happy kappas. little does she know that emet is already here.
the little creatures push her toward him by her legs, and on impulse, she nudges one of them away with a foot. it doesn't seem to like that much. it's still dark in here, so she hasn't actually spotted him yet; instead, she's making a cross-looking face at the kappas that are shoving her.]
I'm capable of walking on my own. ["SHIPPING!"] Oh, be quiet.
[how tall is this tunnel actually-- he probably came in here to check it out and is now stooped over to keep his head from hitting the ceiling of it. it's very awkward.
they're pushing at him now, too, but. well. he weighs close to 500 pounds so they're having a bit of a time of it.]
I will step on you if you do not cease this--
[they just. keep yelling about shipping, undeterred.]
the kappas cheer. one of them yells, "NOW SWEEP HIM OFF HIS FEET AND KISS HIM!"
jiuqing slowly turns her head toward it to give it a deadpan stare.]
No.
[for one thing doesn't know him well enough to want to kiss him for another HE IS SO TALL, HOW IS SHE SUPPOSED TO SWEEP HIM OFF HIS FEET? she'd get crushed.]
but she's used it once already today and it hasn't been eight hours yet, so it doesn't really do anything. she frowns, picks another kappa up, and yeets it too.]
I can't... it's been too soon since I last used it, I think. But it's okay, I think we can deal with these pests even without them.
[off they go, time to get the hell Out of this horrible tunnel... he picks up his own pace a bit to get ahead, because if these things are corgi sized then
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week zero, monday
the little creatures push her toward him by her legs, and on impulse, she nudges one of them away with a foot. it doesn't seem to like that much. it's still dark in here, so she hasn't actually spotted him yet; instead, she's making a cross-looking face at the kappas that are shoving her.]
I'm capable of walking on my own. ["SHIPPING!"] Oh, be quiet.
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they're pushing at him now, too, but. well. he weighs close to 500 pounds so they're having a bit of a time of it.]
I will step on you if you do not cease this--
[they just. keep yelling about shipping, undeterred.]
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Oh! Sir Emet-Selch?
[the kappas take advantage of her surprise to shove her at him.
she's like four feet shorter than him this is a disaster.
"SHIPPING! SHIPPING! SHIIIIIPPING!"]
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[these kappas are still on his List, but he's somewhat more concerned with her being shoved, in the moment?
at least with his size and the fact he's already kind of bent over, it's not very hard to reach out and ensure she doesn't fall.
unfortunately: the kappas LOVE this.]
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the kappas cheer. one of them yells, "NOW SWEEP HIM OFF HIS FEET AND KISS HIM!"
jiuqing slowly turns her head toward it to give it a deadpan stare.]
No.
[for one thing doesn't know him well enough to want to kiss him for another HE IS SO TALL, HOW IS SHE SUPPOSED TO SWEEP HIM OFF HIS FEET? she'd get crushed.]
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[nobody is sweeping anybody off their feet here??]
Must you be taught propriety by force?
[he has his sword and he will use it if he needs to.
he feels like he wouldn't even need to, with these things.]
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Why not just kiss each other, if you want to see that so badly?
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emet-selch scowls more at that. honestly, the nerve of these creatures.]
Insist upon it one more time, and I assure you, I will see that you regret it.
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...
jiuqing picks up one of the kappas and yeets it at the loudest one in the group.]
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emet-selch scowls, reaching for one of them himself.]
Put your color into it, and see if that serves any better.
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but she's used it once already today and it hasn't been eight hours yet, so it doesn't really do anything. she frowns, picks another kappa up, and yeets it too.]
I can't... it's been too soon since I last used it, I think. But it's okay, I think we can deal with these pests even without them.
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[he huffs that out, tossing the one he'd picked up away from himself.
it sails pretty far.]
But they do seem terribly weak.
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[YEET]
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[just annoy them into not being able to deal...
anyway, yeet!]
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[yeets another kappa and
tries to walk back the way she came]
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[off they go, time to get the hell Out of this horrible tunnel... he picks up his own pace a bit to get ahead, because if these things are corgi sized then
well. he's pretty effective at clearing a path.]
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later nerds]
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and once they are, he straightens his posture with a sigh of relief, taking a moment to try to stretch his neck. ughhh that was uncomfortable.]
Well. Now that we know, I certainly will not be going there again.
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[she gives a little huff and brushes off her skirt.]
That whole thing was ridiculous.
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[she sighs]
Let's hope anything else new around here is less annoying, but also not more dangerous.
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[he's pretty sure it'll be manageable, but still.]
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[she isn't wrong, so-- all right, he supposes he'll deal with whatever else might have cropped up.]
Emet-Selch alone will suffice, by the by. You needn't append anything; 'tis a title in its own right.
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[she smiles. onward they go!]
Thank you for your assistance.
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